greets pasheen,

we have a lot of "cleaning up" to do.  namely filling back orders, issuing credits...

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Recent comments

  • Hey there   10 weeks 1 day ago

    Hi everyone, I am Salkis Re, natural hair stylist just here to share and network with my sistahs

  • How can I stop raw aloe vera from drying up flaky?   45 weeks 2 days ago

    i respect the fact that you're trying to go the natural route but unfortunately, i wouldnt know how to answer this without telling you how to make naani's natural no more frizzies.  sowwy

  • How Long Have You Been Relaxer Free?   1 year 14 weeks ago
    I have been relaxer free for 4 years and 2 months. The story goes like this, when I was 16 I convinced my mom to perm my hair. In the space of 730 days I went from having chin length natural nags to barely brushing my eyebrow bangs. The experience should have taught me to take better care of my hair. Instead I became a serial braider/weaver. Not really caring about the breakage that I was causing by not replacing the moisture lost. It took a braiding disaster that left me with about 2 inches worth of hair on my head to make me see the light. So yes i have been relaxer free for 4 years and 2 months but I have only been taking care of my hair since january 2010.
  • How Long Have You Been Relaxer Free?   1 year 18 weeks ago
  • How Long Have You Been Relaxer Free?   1 year 20 weeks ago
    I want to go this way, relaxer free, where do I start?
  • Hair Breakage   1 year 21 weeks ago

    Wow! Thanks for all the info.  Hubby likes mayo so we always it on hand.  Well, my hair did feel good after using the egg. But I still did the acv rinse only because I had my mind set. I now know different.

     Thank you for understanding. I do miss my hair, (tear) but I know I need to do a better job of caring for my ends. My ends will knot themselves. I call them my boyscout knots. Which was another reason for the cut.

    And OMG my hair grows in layers! It drives me bonkers!!! That was another reason I cut it, trying to even it out. When I wanted to wear a fro, it looked too crazy. But the hair just grew in layers all over again. I'm not going to cut it again. Just work with it.  I can't fight nature.

  • Hair Breakage   1 year 21 weeks ago

    sorry to hear about your slow growth woes.  i can feel your pain.  my hair should be longer but i pick at it something fierce.  i cant stand how uneven it grows and am always cutting the right side so that it can be somewhat even with the left side that just refuses to grow.  seriously...i think the left side hates me.

    when you're doing the natural recipes, be careful.  unless the recipe specifies, you don't want to follow up with an ACV rinse.  these rinses clarify which is a nice way of saying "strip."  if anything, you would shampoo, do the acv, then follow up with the treatment.

    for example, let's say you do a mayonnaise deep conditioner treatment.  it's as obvious as it sounds.  you put may on your hair and leave it on there for 20+ min...you can go longer but you don't have to sleep on it or nothin

    the notion behind this is simple.  mayonnaise is basically oil and egg.  these two building blocks are what you will find in many natural hair recipes that contain egg.  the good thing about mayo is that it's pre-mixed and it's cheap.  the bad thing is, it may contain other additives and you don't know the quality of the oil.

    the point is, if you were to do a mayo conditioning treatment, you would rinse it out.  your hair would smell like mayo....yeah, i know.  ICKS!  but the protein from the egg, the sheen offered by the oil together will seal, protect and strengthen.  you don't want to wash that away.  you'd treat it like any conditioner and keep on truckin'.

    ACV rinses are when you need to remove build-up...seen and unseen from your hair.  on average doing one every 4-8 weeks would be enough for most people (depending on how much styling product you use.

  • Lint and build up   1 year 21 weeks ago

    gunk be gone is an herbal rinse acv with essential oils that contains two treatments...more if you're using it on shorter length hair.  one if you have longer, thicker hair and or excessive build-up.

  • Henna   1 year 21 weeks ago

    sounds good and would love to see

    i tried henna YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS ago. in the end, my fro, when photographed outdoors was invariably red....

    HATED IT!

    i'm contemplating coloring it again pretty soon.  black seems like the obvious option but i'm kinda digging my gray patch in the front.  not sure if i should just roll with it or do something vibrant and fun.

  • Lint and build up   1 year 21 weeks ago

    excuse me m'am as which one is yu refering to as GBG I click the link but it show alot of products but im confused because I wondering which one is you refering to as GBG because all of them are nice products but which one GBG shampoo? thnxx

  • Hello   1 year 21 weeks ago

    greets pasheen,

    we have a lot of "cleaning up" to do.  namely filling back orders, issuing credits, refunds, etc etc but none of that can occur until we the site in order.

    the temporary website's are no mas and right now we're settling into the painstaking phase of adding old orders and customer info back into the system so that we can properly respond to inquiries.

    your patience is appreciated and thank you for continuing to visit.  brighter days soon come

  • Lint and build up   1 year 22 weeks ago

    same basic principle.  the diff is the GBG contains extra "cleansers" that lift the dirt more readily.

    having done a lot of guys hair who have avoiding shampooing for weeks...months, the difference is night and day and is visible in the run off.  if you do a typical acv rinse, the water will run "dirty."  a GBG rinse will remove more of the sediments trapped in the hair and it's not caustic...it just works better.

    try the acv as described but if you still see the white goo, you need to step it up and try the GBG.

  • Lint and build up   1 year 22 weeks ago

    Thank you very much,  I would love to use Gunk Be Gone when its available to order.  How would I use ACV?

     

    Devore

     

     

  • Lint and build up   1 year 22 weeks ago

    without seeing the build-up it's hard to tell but you're not using the ACV properly.

    • wash his hair as you normally would
    • in a 1-2 gallon pitchen, combine approximately 1 gallon of very warm (not hot) water, 1 cup of Gunk Be Gone and mix well.
    • put a catch basin in the sink to catch the run off.
    • poor the mixture of his hair being sure to saturate.
    • massage, rub those locks that have the build up
    • take the run off and pour it back in the pitcher and repeat
    • repeat several times.  the water will tend to get dark depending on the level of "stuff" in his hair.
    • once you're through, rinse his hair with clean running water for several minutes.  be sure to remove all traces of the vinegar as it's acidic and if left on the hair can sting.

    you can also try splash aromatherapy astringent.  it's used similarly to the vinegar rinse but you dont have to rinse it out.

    as far as lint, some oils attract more lint than others...olive being one of them.  your best bet is to purchase towels that have less nap for him to use when he bathes and make sure that overall, anything his hair comes into contact with is as lint-free as possible.

    when you twist, be sure to remove any loose or hanging lint beforehand.

    and finally, if the lint and build-up are too ingrained, try a temporary color like Jazzing (pink bottle) and heat process.  this will color the lint and camouflage the build-up.

  • Lint and build up   1 year 22 weeks ago

    I forgot to include I do not use Olive Oil as a twisting agent, I just use It to keep his hair from being dry after I twist his hair.  I do not use any twist agent on his hair now. I  just twist it while it is still wet and use clips to hold it until it dries.

     

    Thanks again,

    Devore

  • Lint and build up   1 year 22 weeks ago

    When his dreads were started the stylist was using Twist & Loc and I continued using it, I stopped over a year ago.  The  way I use ACV is that I diluted it  with a little water and spray it on his hair about 10 mins before I wash it.  It's very dry and hot  where I live, today our temperature is 114. If you could recommend what kind of oil or products I could use I really would appreciate it. I've heard about your hair butter and I really can't wait until I am able to order products  from you.

     

    Thanks for your time,

    Devore

  • Lint and build up   1 year 22 weeks ago

    ok, it's obviously product build-up if it's sticky.

    olive oil is one of those precarious things to use on hair...especially locks.  unless your scalp is dry, the question is..."why?"  in terms of locks, it doesn't "hold" so its use as a twisting agent is pretty pointless.

    it's generally a heavy oil and overusage is common so if it's difficult to wash out of locks and leaves your hair greasy to the touch.

    before i proceed is olive oil the only thing you've used on your son's locks?  i mean start to finish, olive oil and that's it?

    how are you using the ACV rinse?  generally this should take care of any build-up so i would be interested to find out how you're going about it.

  • Starting Dreadlocks with Two Strand Twist and maintaining them   1 year 22 weeks ago

    technically you don't need to "DO" anything besides wash your hair.

    yes, your hair will be frizzy as time goes on and this is where the palm rolling comes in.  but weaken the roots from not twisting?  that wouldn't even make sense if i were drunk.

    over-manipulation/over-twisting can weaken locks that have a small base to begin with...OR if you have "fine" hair...OR if you maintain with a tool method and maintain your hair too often...OR...

    the point is, you don't "HAVE TO" do anything beyond keep them clean and "neat."  how "neat" is subjective.

    for me, my frizzy two strands were cute.  sure, i could've palmed them so that they layed just right but i like that "cover of miseducation of lauryn hill" look that i had on a daily basis.  in fact, i was kinda upset when they finally "dropped" (teenage locks will tend to stick up when they're transitioning in to maturity.  once mature, your hair will lay more flat...like braids).

    the point is, you chose two-strands and this style, like braids, means your hair is less susceptible to unraveling.  for these two starter methods, palm-rolling is more about smoothing frizzies and keeping your hair "neat" in appearance.

    for locks started with comb-coils or palm-rolls though, palm-rolling or finger twisting is down right mandatory.  these starter methods are more prone to unraveling so there will be a pressing need to have this styles maintained.

    as far as products, http://naani.com/content/dreadlocks-hair-products

    ^that should be a good starter link but if you need more help or have questions regarding that link, just come back and start another post in the appropriate forum

    good luck.

  • Starting Dreadlocks with Two Strand Twist and maintaining them   1 year 23 weeks ago

    whoa you didn't do nothing to it for 8 months? Did it turn out all good by doing that? I'm thinkin about palm-rolling or twisting every two weeks because this guy said if you do it too much it will cause weak roots. Sould I but wax in my hair or not?????? I wash my hair like about every 12 days. So I should just like my hair do what it do???

  • Starting Dreadlocks with Two Strand Twist and maintaining them   1 year 23 weeks ago

    you don't really need to "do" anything.  just make sure that they don't crawl and palm-roll them weekly or bi-weekly to keep them looking neat.

    i started with two-strands and didn't do anything to mine for the first 8 months or so besides washing them every 7-10 days.

    how long it takes them to lock depends on a number of factors but overall, relax.  it's just just a matter of time.

  • Born on a Rotten Day -- Pisces   1 year 29 weeks ago

    If You Are One, Born Rotten

    Pisces has often been called the dustbin of the zodiac. Mental hospital is a closer description. On your trek around the karmic wheel, you've not only picked up everyone else's bad habits, you've managed to forego most of the good ones.

    You are as obtuse as Taurus, anal as Virgo, and as wishy-washy as Libra. You blather as much as Gemini and Sagittarius put together, but your conversation is limited to instant replays of all the boring details of your crises-laden life. When you want something you can knock down more little old ladies than an Aries fighting to be first at a Macy's white sale. You are as freaked-out as Aquarius, obsessed as Scorpio, and whiny as a Cancer with a sore throat. Your penchant for theatrics makes the most flamboyant Leo look reticent, and your opinion of yourself is higher than that of a Capricorn who's just foreclosed on a Swiss bank.

    You also have the special-to-you-alone gift for viewing life from a perpetually unworkable slant. You are so afraid of conflict that you would rather eat worms than confront a problem. But that's fine with you because it gives you the excuse to lie on the couch all day, flipping the remote and sighing.

    The cliche of the lights are on but no one's home was no doubt first used to describe a Fish. You will fade out in the middle of commuter traffic going seventy, wake up in the next town, and have absolutely no idea how you got there.

    Every Pisces is addicted to something. The obvious dangers are booze and drugs. However, serial romances, food, TV, and excessive sleep are also ways you avoid dealing with reality. You are probably a lifetime member of every organization with Anonymous in the title.

    Pisces have every psychological and psychosomatic illness known to man and participate in medical research trials more often than any other sign. You love the attention and use the twenty-five dollars to buy wine. You are so afraid of confrontation that trying to carry on a conversation with you is like talking to a bobble-head doll. You can't make a decision, no matter how inconsequential, and you have the social presence of a doormat. But, you do hate to see suffering. That's why you wear dark glasses.

    Your favorite TV shows are the <i>Jerry Lewis Telethon</i> and the <i>PTL Club</i>. you love to cry along with fellow Fish Jerry and to self-righteously bash those lacquer-haired televangelists.

    As the last sign of the zodiac, you've walked in every other sign's shoes at least once. And slept in all their beds. You charm the pants off anyone...literally. However, you are so reality-challenged that you don't want a life, you want a move.

    Pisces make good actors, faith healers, vice cops, savants, and drag queens. You are also psychic; however you are so self-absorbed that the only future you care about is your own.

    You don't do realism. Instead you prefer to view life from either your internal set of rose-colored glasses, or from a state of altered consciousness. Either way, you drift through the years with your head in the sand, preferring your fantasies and dragging behind you an endless line of losers you call family and friends. But that's OK with you, since it gives you an excuse to drink and bitch.

    You are the chameleon of the Universe, and the shades of every other sign flutter through your soul. Because you are so acquiescent and hate conflict, you are invariably underestimated. Once you learn to quit underestimating yourself, that quality is precisely what will give you the edge over every other sign.

    Yours is the philosophy of "Live and let live." Let other people scramble to grab the spotlight, run the world, or claw their way to the top; you are too busy making your dreams come true, quietly and determinedly behind the scenes.

  • Born on a Rotten Day -- Pisces   1 year 29 weeks ago

    If You Love One: Pisces Woman

    She has an aura of responsiveness that instantly puts you at ease. The female Pisces is a classic romantic who expects her mate to be a gentle man. She prefers privacy to partying, quality to quantity, and you, alone, to the rest of the world. Consider yourself the luckiest man alive? What if I told you that her zodiac nickname is Queen of the Horizontal Mamba, and that her commitment to you won't necessarily slow her down?

    Ms. Pisces is as sexually diffuse as Fish-boy, except where the male tricks his lovers into believing he is a prince in frog's clothing, she tricks herself that every man she gets between the sheets, or on top of the Xerox machine is her One True Love, at least for a couple of hours. This woman has kissed dozens of toads in her quest for a soul mate. Trouble is, she rarely lifts her eyes higher than the swamp. Of course, this is extremely lucky for you if you are demented, unemployable, a hopeless mama's boy, or an escaped felon.

    Her basic personality is like a metaphorical aquarium where a great variety of fish jostle for position. Dangle your fingers over the tank and you'll never be sure whether a gentle dolphin will raise its back to be petted or Jaws will snap them off for lunch. Angry Fish spout like Moby Dick blasting steam, then dive for the nearest dark place. She will become visibly agitated if you press her, and can snap off a few sarcastic remarks. However, she will most likely just shriek and dissolve into a hysterical sobbing heap.

    At first you'll adore the lavish attention she offers. Soon, though, you'll get a distinct tight-in-the-chest feeling when she begins to nag. And the Pisces female has honed the art of nagging to the level of Chinese water torture. She will prod and push, trying to mold you into her ideal mate. Trouble is, she has not a clue as to who that person is. All female Fish idealize Daddy, especially if he doesn't deserve it, and apply this same irrational logic to you. It has nothing to do with heroes and everything to do with distancing herself from a truly intimate relationship.

    A Pisces woman may appear fragile, helpless, and other-worldly. However, beneath that innocent smile is a spine of stainless steel. Consider Elizabeth Taylor, the famous Pisces astrologers love to use as an example of an exotic, delicate Fish. Taylor has survived dozens of operations, several near-death experiences, and brain surgery. Her health issues alone would have killed a lesser person years ago, not to mention her romantic stamina in the marriage arena. In addition to multiple divorces and widowhood, she's survived two marriages to the same Scorpio, Richard Burton. You call that fragile?

    Ms. Fish is her own worst enemy and prefers self-pity to rational discussion. Argue with her and she will either turn the air blue with language so foul it would make a sailor blus, or fling herself upon the nearest piece of furniture and sob her guts out. It won't take you long to figure out that she's hooked on drama and actually likes a good fight. It gives her a chance to hone her acting skills, and clear out her sinuses at the same time.

    Although usually very intelligent, her offhanded attitude toward life will leave you wondering whether all her synapses are firing in sequence. She will forget to balance the checkbook for months, coast into the gas station on a fume and a prayer, and swear that the refrigerator was full just yesterday. If you intend to have a decent retirement income and eat regularly, you will have to control the purse strings and learn how to cook.

    No other woman in the Universe comes on so devoted, selfless and understanding, and departs with a bigger chunk of your bloody heart stuck on her little pink fingernails. And she will be fluttering those artistic hands long after you've run screaming for the nearest therapist's couch.

  • Born on a Rotten Day -- Pisces   1 year 29 weeks ago

    If You Love One: Pisces Man

    He's a dreamboat who lives for romance, and his hypnotic charisma will leave you weak-kneed and breathless. He may be a visionary like Copernicus, or a joker  à la Billy Crystal, but a Pisces man is intuitive, caring, and sympathetic. No other male in the Universe is as capable of profound love and devotion. Unfortunately, he's so in love with himself that you don't stand a chance.

    The male Fish is the emotional black hole of the Universe. Toss your heart, soul, and car keys, and all will disappear forever. This guy learned at an appalling young age how to weasel his way out of work and charm his way into bed.

    He's definitely sensual, sexy, and cute, in a debauched sort of way. Don't let the façade fool you. At home he may be a quiet little Fish, swimming around and around the beer bottle, but romantically he is the great white shark of the zodiac. A Scorpio man will hurt you because he has a morbid fear of rejection. Your Pisces guy will do it just to keep his teeth sharpened.

    He's a natural born liar. And he's honed the art until he fools himself. Such as when he's perched on his favorite bar stool, watching the sports channel and ogling hot bodies, but telling himself he's gathering material for the novel he plans to write. The only thing this loser will ever write is a smeared phone number on his cocktail napkin.

    He's self-destructive. Pisces Desi Arnaz had everything. Looks, career, and for its time, a state-of-the-art TV show with wife, Leo Lucille Ball. Arnaz possessed the extraordinary talent for both creative artistry and business acumen. He also possessed the extraordinary Piscean thirst for alcohol, and roving eye, which ultimately left Ball no choice but to divorce him. Ball became a megastar. Arnaz battled alcohol and obscurity for the rest of his life.

    He loves sex games. Feel free to wear your nurse's uniform but expect him to play patient, not doctor. Buy a dog collar and he will bark. Introduce him to your best friend, if you dare, but don't leave them alone. He will have affairs anywhere, any time, with anyone who will hold still long enough. And with an icy detachment that rivals his Gemini cousin. The Fish can cleave you full of his declarations of undying love, drive straight to his favorite watering hole, and pick up the first available body.

    Or, full of his divine spiritual fervor, à la Pisces Jimmy Swaggart, hop in his Caddy and head for the nearest hooker. In classic Pisces self-delusion, when caught with his parables down, Swaggart blamed the woman for being a minion of the Devil who tempted him to stray. Then he gave one of the most spectacular public displays of improvised remorse and Emmy-caliber acting since the night female Fish, Tammy Faye Bakker, ripped off her false eyelashes on TV to prove that she wasn't afraid to reveal her real self. Can you say Amen?

    Don't expect your Fish to be the breadwinner. Some Pisces males start on a career path early, but if yours hasn't dropped the remote and picked up a degree by the time he's in his late twenties, forget it. You will end up with a ne'er-do-well who thinks making his fortune means winning the lottery, and that Real TV is culturally educational. If you are a Virgo with a job, house, and checkbook, or a Cancer who doesn't mind playing nursemaid for the rest of your life, this guy was meant for you.

    He's tedious. He has a compulsion to use the same cliches he's used since high school and will invariably run a subject straight into the ground in the shortest time possible. Telling him he's not funny only eggs him on, because he's not after your laughter, he's out to provoke you.

    All bluff and no substance, Mr. Fish is a cast of thousands and even he doesn't know what scene he'll play next. But, since he does like role-playing you could pretend you're the Lone Ranger and ride on.

  • Born on a Rotten Day -- Aquarius   1 year 29 weeks ago

    If You Are One, Born Rotten

    You have the annoying habit of acting like an authority on subjects about which you know little or nothing. This is because your brain is like an encyclopedia with chunks of pages missing. You confuse snatches of a conversation held a year ago with the Adventure Channel's special on the pyramids you saw last week. Then insist you had a conversation with the curator of an Egyptian museum on the relics found in King Tut's tomb. The sad part is that you believe your fantasy so you are not only a phony but also a fruitcake.

    Aliens kidnap Aquarians more often than any other sign. In fact, you probably are an alien who uses the kidnapped story as a cover for your strange behavior patterns. Your brain works faster than you can speak, so your conversation is riddled with mispronounced five-syllable words that makes you sound like Roger Rabbit talking about his uncle's "probate" gland.

    You have a great sympathy for the trials and tribulations of humanity. Of course you rarely do anything other than expound on how much you care as you are too busy bugging your neighbor's house because you are convinced she is hiding five of the ten Most Wanted list in her basement. In fact, America's Most Wanted is your favorite TV show and you know every operator by name.

    Aquarius is the sign of the humanitarian, inventor, mad scientist, and anarchist. Water Bearers also make good hippies, cross-dressers, and dyslexic English professors. You all own original cast recordings of Hair and keep your valuables locked in the safe disguised as an Early American end table in your den.

    Your never-ending quirkiness and incessant questioning are the reasons why you have no close friends and your family members all live in other states. This is fine with you because it gives you the opportunity to scope out the action on the Greyhound to Phoenix. Besides, you love a captive audience and the trip gives you a chance to entertain your newly found friends with your ability to play "Yankee Doodle" with your armpits.

    You have a kinship with the bizarre and collect items like petrified bat guano and that black stuff you find under the porch in humid weather. You are curious about strange religious movements or offbeat psychic practices such as Navel Lint Reading.

    You are so unconcerned with what other people think of you that you rarely bother to bathe or dress on weekends. If an unexpected visitor arrives at your front door and is offended by your body odor and cluttered house, you figure it serves them right for not calling ahead so you could tell them to stay home.

    In love, you are very selective. As soon as you realize your newest prospect is a poster child for the criminally insane, you are hooked. However, since you have no idea of how to sustain romance, as fast as the lust wanes or the handcuffs break, you are merrily on your way in search of newer and weirder conquests. When it comes to marriage, the most your spouse can hope for is a divorce.

    You are the most annoying sign in the zodiac. You force friends and family alike to all-night speculations about the pros and cons of stamps you lick versus the peel-and-stick kind. However, you don't really understand how anything works and your scientific knowledge comes from watching programs like Bill Nye the Science Guy. you think fellow Aquarian Jerry Springer's show is a good example of a fun look at real life. The fact that he's picked people so unaware that they don't realize they are being ridiculed makes you laugh all the harder.

    You are also the world's most original thinker. You are sensible, friendly, and idealistic. Your fierce need for independence, however, can be a dual-edged sword. Learn to overcome the urge to lay down the law and spout ultimatums beforegetting the facts straight, and you'll have the rest of the zodiac eating out of your hand. In the meantime, as a verbal gunslinger, you're the fastest draw in the Universe.

    Your philosophy is "Honesty is the best policy." You are a free spirit who couldn't care less about conforming to society's standards. And you understand that home is a state of mind, not a defined place. Let other people cling to their outworn beliefs and nine-to-five routines.

  • Born on a Rotten Day -- Aquarius   1 year 29 weeks ago

    If You Love One: Aquarius Woman

    She's a free spirit who is eternally curious and always friendly. An Aquarian woman will enchant you with her enigmatic charm and seeks a man who is both romantic and intellectual. She is neither possessive nor jealous and believes that love begins with friendship. She is also a total individual who marches to her own drummer. Whether this is the beat of a jazz band or a set of tom-toms as she stakes you out on the nearest anthill is something you should try to determine before the wedding.

    The good news is that she is one of the nicest people in the Universe. The bad news is, that's because she always does exactly what she pleases. An Aquarius female is rebellious, headstrong, and contrary. She can be selfishly independent and exasperating, especially when she is running through the house screaming, "Freedom!"

    When angry, she can act out in an aggressive, childish way. She may stamp her feet, order you out of the house, or even trash the place in a fit of petulant indignation. But, usually, she approaches anger from the same detached mental perspective as she does everything else in life, preferring to argue and provoke you into a rage. As all Air signs, she is easily bored and delights in stirring the pot, especially if she thinks it will piss you off.

    She's so unpredictable that each time you kiss her good-bye, you'll never know who, or what, will greet you when you return. She has few inhibitions. Some female Water Bearers have green hair, purple hair, or no hair at all. She will wear a nose ring, a toe ring, or six earrings in one ear and a tongue stud. She will dress any way she fancies, no matter what the occasion, and is apt to wear Levi's and a "Free Tibet" T-shirt to a formal dinner, where she will not hesitate to discuss any topic under the sun, including death, politics, cannibalism, or cannibalizing dead politicians. Her personality is combination shock treatment and rugged individualism.

    The female Water Bearer loves gossip as much as Cousin Gemini. However, her odd curiosity lends itself to ferreting out the most disgusting bits of information she can find to horrify you with as she unleashes her maniacal laughter. She will also keep you up all night analyzing such inane topics as how dust bunnies are formed and whether or not Cancer Alex Trebek is really an android.

    She has a horde of friends of all ages, sexes, persuasions, and character types. And she will be available any time of the day or night for guidance counseling, a free meal, or a warm bed. If you want to win her heart, be prepared to feel as if you are living in a combination bus station and therapist's office.

    The more bizarre you are, the better your chances of getting her in the sack. Tell her you are doing research on vampire sexual rites in Los Angeles, and she'll confess that she channels new positions for the Kama Sutra from Bela Lugosi. Pretend you are an alien sex fiend from the planet Halcyon and she will wrap herself in Christmas lights and fall at your feet. However, unless you are an Aries with an endless imagination, or a Scorpio who can appeal to her perverse side, you'll soon find yourself with a bored partner who prefers reading about sex to doing the deed. But, don't confuse bored with non-sexy.

    Hollywood bombshell Aquarius Mamie Van Doren wore the bullet bra when Leo Madonna was wearing diapers, and Mamie rarely, if ever, confused a good lay with a romantic attachment. True to the clever Aquarian nature, she survived the Blond Bimbo era of Hollywood, the sixties, and is still going strong. She still loves men, and as she's fond of saying, "Mamie likes 'em young."

    Aquarius is not into blatant emotionalism, so if you are worship needy like Leo, or a drama-drenched Water sign, you'll soon feel like you've stumbled through an electrically charged whirlwind and been zapped, snapped, and spit out as too stupid to deal with, all in record time.

    Ms. Aquarius also has a touch of money grubber in her soul. Although she's not quite as obvious as a Capricorn checking your Dun and Bradstreet rating, she does firmly believe in the old cliche that says it's as easy to love a rich person as a poor one. Charming, stunning, and nine-time married Zsa Zsa Gabor once said, "I've never hated a man enough to give back his diamonds."

    Gabor's guest role on the last show of the old Batman TV series was typical of the Aquarius female. Maybe that's why she remembers it so fondly. Zsa Zsa played Minerva, an evil woman who owned a spa for men, where she scanned their brains under special hair dryers. "I loved the character," Gabor said. "The wardrobe was all gaudy and silver, and nothing can be more exciting than that. These hair dryers got all the spy stories out of people's brains. One person was a jewelry salesman and I could find out the combination to his safe. I opened that safe and diamonds kept on falling all over me. I loved it."

    The title of her autobiography, One Lifetime Is Not Enough, sums up the philosophy of every Aquarian woman, including yours.

 

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