AQUARIUS: January 20 - February 18
Mama was a Spy; Daddy Was a Psychopath
Famous Aquarians at AoI: Middlesex (24 January)
Element: Air. Aquarius Air is electrically charged and unpredictable. You know the storm is coming; you just aren't sure when or with what force.
Quality: Fixed. Aquarius is the human version of the tornado that carried Dorothy to Oz.
Symbol: The Water Bearer. Deluge. Flood. Pour-forth.
Ruler: Uranus, the god of abrupt change, and Saturn, the god of repression and status quo.
Favorite Pastime: Getting in someone's face.
Favorite Book: Channeling Dead House Pets for Fun and Profit
Role Model: Goldfinger
Dream Job: Head borg
Key Phrase: "Resistance is futile."
Body Part: Ankles, permanently twisted from spinning on their heels and marching out of the room.
Approach With Caution
Aquarius, the eleventh sign of the zodiac, lives in the House of Friendship, Intellect, and Idealism. Kind astrology describes the Water Bearer as an assertive, original, and idealistic individualist who treats every person equally. What you get is an in-your-face eccentric who spouts assorted oddball ideologies to anyone he or she can corner.
Next to Scorpio, more Aquarians check in and out of the local nut farm than any other sign. Personality Disorder was coined for the Aquarian head case.
Aquarius is dual-ruled by Uranus and Saturn. Uranus, the planet of abrupt change, brings revolution. Saturn, the planet of dogma and repression, indicates the status quo. In Aquarius these two heavy hitters create an unpredictable personality torn between creating change and craving security. Water Bearers try to force the world to change around them in order to create an illusion of nonconformity. In reality, they fear change.
Aquarians are aloof, not passionate. This is because they fear that introspection will reveal that they really don't have all the answers. Aquarians chase the future instead of living in the present. Being born without the self-analysis gene has created a schism between having a keen judgment about others but little understanding of themselves. Disagree with the Aquarian version of truth, and risk never seeing them again. Prove that they are as self deluded as the rest of us, and they will shatter like the thinnest glass.