Born on a Rotten Day -- Gemini

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GEMINI: May 21 - June 20

Take Heart, Take Every One

Notable Geminis at AoI:
Charles Rex (29 May) and Lauderdale (24 May)

Element:

Air. Gemini Air is like a pesky breeze on a day at the beach. It makes you squint, so you don't get a clear picture of what's happening around you.


Quality:

Mutable. Gemini is the human version of the revolving door.


Symbol:

The Twins. Double-trouble. Double-talk. Double-life. Double-cross.


Ruler:

Mercury, the god of mischief and deceit.


Favorite Pastime:

Jumping to the wrong conclusion.


Favorite Book:

How to Get Anyone to Agree to Anything.


Role Model:

The Tasmanian Devil.


Dream Job:

Gossip columnist.


Key Phrase:

"Because I want to."

Body Part:

Fingers, usually broken from wagging them in other people's faces.

 


 

Approach With Caution

Gemini, the third sign of the zodiac, lives in the House of Communication and Short Trips. Conventional astrology says that Twins are energetic, versatile charmers and intelligent, multitasking, social butterflies. Truth is, being with a Gemini is like being a permanent guest at the Mad Hatter's tea party.

A critical rule is not to confuse Gemini duality with the dual nature of Pisces. Fish swim against one another, which makes Pisces its own worst enemy. Gemini Twins always stand side by side, egging each other on, giving you all kinds of crap. They are crafty versus intellectual, fast-talking con artists versus true philosophers. A Twin's idea of success is to be on the A-list of every big shot in town. They love to stand around at cocktail parties and play the Name Dropping Game. Telling one that you know Paul McCartney's hair stylist will ensure you a place at his or her side at dinner.

Gemini is headstrong, not independent. They skim through life. Twins demand freedom, but it's the freedom of a teenager. They are too busy rebelling to listen to any other point of view. Being born without the objective-assessment gene has voided the ability to see any other option but theirs as valid. Argue with one, and suffer an interrogation that could make a trained spy crumble. Win your case and Gemini will say, "That's just what I was trying to tell you!"

lord give me strength

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If You Love One: Gemini Man

He is simply irresistible. The Gemini man is a fun-loving, independent, roguish romantic who has a doctorate in flirting. He can cook an exotic dinner. Then dance with you in the starlight, point out the constellations, and capture your heart with his beautiful version of their myths. Don't invite the wedding guests yet. While you are mentally compiling the guest list, he will excuse himself to get you a fresh glass of chilled whine, and while in the kitchen, manage to phone three other girls for dates next weekend. The only thing this schmoozing, womanizing, party animal is interested in is adding your phone number and bra size to his ever-increasing list of victims.

Gemini movie star Errol Flynn was long regarded as the black sheep of Hollywood. The phrase "in like Flynn" was coined as tribute to his ability to score. His real-life adventures, rebellions, and general unruliness rivaled those of the swashbuckling heroes he portrayed. Flynn was married three times and cheated on all of his wives. His first wife, French actress Lily Damita, said, "You never know when he's telling the truth. He lies for the fun of it."

His life was one of cheerful excess. But, by his late forties, his hurricane-force existence had taken its toll, and he was a burned-out shell of his former, lively self. Flynn died of a heart attack at fifty.

Your Twin will probably not be quite as bad, but all Gemini men have a gypsy moth's fatal attraction to a pretty face. Totally faithful Gems do exist, but are rarer than a shy Sagittarius. In fact, the word faithful has a different meaning to a Gemini man. Think of Gemini Brigham Young, the Mormon founder of Salt Lake, who had twenty-seven wives. I'm sure that, in his mind, Brother Brigham considered himself a devoted and faithful husband. In my mind, he was in Gemini Paradise.

Yours will have five hobbies, four careers, and an assortment of friends that resemble a mini-United Nations. But, his intellectual prowess is limited to his memorization of the various versions of Trivial Pursuit and entertaining his friends by tearing you to pieces with his merciless, acerbic tongue. He lives to put down people, and will call you fat ass in public, or snap his fingers at you when his glass is empty. Cold-hearted and calculating, he is a blatant social climber and will propose on the first date if he smells money. As a husband, he is ambivalent. The only thing this guy's passionate about is being entertained.

If you think love means being together at least some of the time, sharing dinner, and watching the tube, you had better find yourself a homey Cancer, or a quiet Virgo, and send this horny hound dog packing. Or you could look on the bright side. You may be hysterical and freaked out half the time, but you'll never be bored.

lord give me strength

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If You Love One: Gemini Woman

A Gemini woman is a breath of fresh air. She is generous of spirit and heart, and has lots of friends. Her ideal man is original, busy, and has absolutely no desire to pin her down in any way. She is witty, fun loving, and eternally curious. She can systematically juggle a home, a career, family responsibilities, and several hobbies. Before you decide this vivacious whirlwind is for you, understand that her usual hobbies are other men.

A female Twin is the satin-clad, glamorous, sex-using female version of the Hollywood heel. She is her own worst enemy and attracts men who are just as shallow in a classic case of the user being used. She splits her Twin nature, forever chasing a fantasy, while simultaneously looking for Big Daddy.

Consider Gemini Marilyn Monroe. Sex kitten in public, Monroe spent her private life looking for a stable home and a man who would take care of her. However, in true Gemini form, she never allowed anyone to get close enough, or hang around long enough, to establish a lasting relationship. Although she often complained bitterly that no one took her seriously, she was never willing to give up the glamour and attention to seriously pursue any of the intellectual and humanitarian interests her loyal fans claim she supported. In archetypical Gemini-duality, Marilyn lamented that all she wanted was a husband and a home, but she also said, "I have too many fantasies to be a housewife." She oozed sexuality, but if she had any true intellectual bearing, she traded it early on in favor of the spotlight. In an interview at the height of her career she said, "I seem to be a whole superstructure without a foundation."

Of course, your Gemini will be much more stable, and less bimboesque, but she also will be a woman of many interests, all dependent upon her mood of the moment, and what, or whom, she's found to drag home to examine, probe, and/or fall in love with temporarily.

She loves gossip, and her detective skills are superlative. In fact she would make a good private eye, or a spy, except for a fatal flaw. While she can keep a secret, she often can't resist sharing juicy bits of gossip, especially if it makes her look good in comparison. If you insist on confessing your own dark past, don't say I didn't warn you.

Gem lives to set things straight. You included. She will smother you with love and devotion—for about five minutes. Then begin the task of changing you for your own good. She will toss at you with hurricane force books, tapes, seminars, advice, and examples from her own life. She will find you a job, a counselor, and an in-patient facility and expect a progress report each evening.

Auntie Marie, the story of a freewheeling, live-life-to-the-hilt, independent woman, is the ultimate portrait of the Gemini female. Superstar Rosalind Russell won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Academy Award for her portrayal of this madcap lady. Perhaps that was because Russell was a Gemini and recognized the character on a soul level. The movie's tag line, "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" sums up Ms. Gemini's philosophy in a nutshell.

lord give me strength

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If You Are One, Born Rotten

You belong to the Fad-of-the-Month club. You were the first kid on your block to have a hula hoop, a skateboard, or roller blades. You are also the first one to arrive in the Emergency Room with a broken bone, because you refused to wear protective gear. You have a hundred acquaintances but few friends. Probably because you spend half of your time talking behind their backs and the other half making eyes at their lovers.

Gems make good writers, mimics, used-car salesmen, con artists, and magpies. You are also one of the psychic signs, but can't shut up long enough to practice your meditation exercises.

You love to embellish the boring details of your life. What starts out as a trip to the grocery store becomes the day you spotted Elvis in the parking lot. When you confronted him, you discovered it wasn't the King at all, iit was Jimmy Hoffa.

You do have a gift for imparting knowledge to others. On the playground you were the one who taught the other kids how to play doctor. If you were a drug, it would be speed.

You hate solitude. You aren't introspective and need the stimulus of other people to help manage the buzzing noises in your head. It has been said of Gemini

Bob Hope that if he could live his life over again, he wouldn't have the time. While this description neatly fits every Gemini, the reason your social calendar is overbooked is because, when there's no one else to talk to, you bore yourself to sleep.In Gemini, Mercury bestows a natural talent for pot stirring. You love to invite over for drinks people who detest each other, then sit back and watch the mayhem.

Your Achilles Heel is romance. You are a sucker for a sob story, flattery, or an out-and-out lie. In any other area of life, you are suspicious of most people who offer genuine friendship because you are such a phony baloney. However, if someone listens intently to your latest goofy scheme, interjects a bit of his, or her, own pathos now and then, you are hooked. Never mind that your latest flame is your sixth spouse. You instantly fall in love, then after the smoke clears and you realize you've chosen yet another card-carrying psycho, you run like Hell. If you could learn to not get married in between the loving and the running, you'd save yourself many headaches.

Your breezy nature and impressive recuperative powers keep you relatively unscathed in matters of the heart. If you have guilt at all, it's more a nagging sense that you should have more emotional empathy. But it really doesn't matter. You are protected by Mercury, the god of thieves and liars, and seldom get hoisted on your own petard.

Your philosophy is, "Do something, even if it's wrong." You may run into a brick wall and get the wind knocked out of you. But your energy scatters around the obstacle to gather again, whole, on the other side. Let the rest of humanity lumber along like elephants on parade. You dart through life adding color and imagination.

lord give me strength

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lord give me strength

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