TAURUS: April 20 - May 20
What's Mine is Mine, What's Yours is Mine
Notable Taureans at AoI: Mary Stuart, the Princess Mary (30 April)
Element: Earth. Taurus Earth is like a swamp filled with ancient trees covered in moss. Maneuvering through this bog feels like a dream in which you try to walk but get nowhere.
Quality: Fixed. Taurus is the original immovable object.
Symbol: The bull. Bullish. Bullheaded. Raging bull. Full of bull.
Ruler: Venus, the goddess of lust, jealousy, and hedonism.
Favorite Pastime: Passing judgments over dinner.
Favorite Book: The Gluttonous Gourmet.
Dream Job: Hanging judge.
Key Phrase: "Why do you make me hit you?"
Body Part: The throat, usually sore from bellowing.
Approach With Caution
Taurus, the second sign of the zodiac, resides in the House of Money and Possessions. Traditional astrology kindly describes this Fixed-Earth sign as a steadfast, discriminating, thrifty homebody who is a great cook. Your real-life version more closely resembles a stubborn, judgmental, boring miser with a weight problem.
Mention Taurus, and most people conjure up a mental image of Sagittarius Munroe Leaf's Ferdinand the Bull, peacefully chewing sweet grass and batting his big bovine eyes in placid contentment. Lean across the fence and he'll let you scratch behind his ears. Climb over that fence and attempt to pick a few of the daisies growing in his pasture, and you'll soon discover the dark side of tranquility - Raging Bull. With practice, you can spot an imminent charge. His or her face darkens visibly as the temper rises. The eyes veil, the jaw juts or sets, ever so slightly. Some unconsciously lower the head a bit and look up at you as a real bull does before it charges. Depending on how self-controlled yours is, you have from one second to a few minutes to brace yourself.
Venus rules Taurus and here, this ancient bad girl bestows an insatiable appetite. Bulls can never get enough approval, possessions, food, rest, or sex.
Bulls are emotional, not intellectual. Relying on instinct rather than fact, they often fall victim to their own judgmental natures. Being born without the seeing-another-person's-point-of-view gene has voided all reason and logic. Arguing your case will only enrage them and craze you. Prove your point, and Taurus will simply blink those big, soulful eyes and look at you as if you were speaking a foreign language.